IxAmxThexShadow

at first all it is is a whisper you can barely hear it so you pay it no mind but then it gets louder louder and louder and louder until its all you hear over and over and over again whispers that are small turn into shrieks that seem larger then anything it hurts your head driving you insane calling you names kicking you when your down voices in your head calling to you commanding me destroying you

The first scratch is shallow barely there almost invisible but the farther you go the more intense it becomes the deeper they become The more often you do it the more addictive it gets the more it drags you in Until you're stuck and you cant get out you're addicted You can't stop and the worst part is you don't even want to

You used to be my safe haven, A place where i could forget everything and be happy, a place where i could be me. But you're a business now you don't care about the community you care about the publicity. I cant stand it. You used to bring me hope and even happiness but now i can see its all just fucking bullshit. you saved my life once but now you're no different then anyone. All you care about is the money, not the kids.

fall back into despair fall back into the place i know all to well cutting starving burning puking bingeing fall back back to what i do best back to destroying my life

i can never hold on to good things i can never get attached id rather burn bridges then cross them building walls instead of moving around them id rather shut myself away and break everything off then get hurt by someone else

finally i have everything i wanted i have the grades, the friends, the girl so why aren't i happy? i should be. but im still not everything i want is still not enough

a smile is all it takes to hide all the anger and fear i keep inside one smile is all it will take to convince you that i wont break so i'll keep a smile on my face and then disappear without a trace

"i don't get why girls starve themselves" No of course you don't. because you're happy. but did you see me wince? when you started talking about weight and beauty and everything else that im not. did you see the pain flash across my face? see all the feeling i was trying to hide? Are you so ignorant that you cant see when a person is uncomfortable? Its not that i expect you to understand I just expect you not to be so ignorant about it.

Remember that girl? The one with the fake peppy smile plastered on her face The one who always looks so happy the one whose laugh sounds like a cry for help The one who seems so confident but wobbles when she walks Remember her? Her fake smile is fading Shes forgetting how to act okay Her laughs are turning into cries Her self esteem is at a new low and shes falling down